Positively Phoebe

**This post was transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.** Last Friday: Treatment Day: 18 Honestly?  There's really nothing to report.  Which probably played a part in my forgetting to post about it before now.  The treatments have become routine.  They feel like just a normal part of a normal day anymore.  Which means I may get a little less vigilant about posting about Every.  Single.  Day.  (Unless there are things to talk about, which, then, by all means, I will be here.) But Friday was uneventful.  I don't even remember what was on HGTV at this point. What I do remember is that I took a wee detour on my way to work.  It had been way too long since I paid a visit to Lake Erie.  So I decided to just go sit out on the pier at Edgewater for a moment to enjoy the beauty of the day and feel the healing power of the water. While I was going through my cancer treatments, Ryan and I tried to go for a walk ev...

**This post was transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.** Yesterday was one of those days - the perfect example of my state of medical weirdness. I woke up feeling perfectly "normal," took a shower, got dressed, went downstairs to let the dogs out, and felt, quite suddenly, an unfamiliar and intense pain in my lower abdomen.  It was somewhat reminiscent of feeling like super-constipated, except that I wasn't.  But I definitely didn't feel well enough to eat, so I packed a lunch and headed to work. I could not get comfortable at my desk.  The pain was getting worse.  I started to feel cold.  Put on my emergency work hoodie.  Still cold.  Busted out the space heater.  Kept working.  Got a phone call from a vendor.  Was doing fine and then, 5 minutes into the call, I was sweating.  Dizzy.  I told the guy I had to go, hung up the phone, fell to the floor, and threw up in my wastebasket.  The freezing went ...

**This post has been transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.** I've been moving toward this new blog for a minute now.  A blog that is not just about being positive in the face of cancer.  But a blog that is about where I am NOW.  A blog about survivorship.  The awesome parts AS WELL AS the downright shitty parts.  A blog where I feel comfortable going back to the rawness and the realness of the original Phoebe's Stupid Cancer blog. I want to write again, but for a long time, the "Positive" part of  Positively Phoebe  would just flat stop me every time I'd sit down at my desk and open up the blogger window.  A lot of people encouraged me to stick with that blog and that title, and no offense is intended toward those who felt that would help me.  But the truth, for ME, is that I was only being positive for other people for the past several months.  I had created a persona and I received genuine disappointment from some ...