Positively Phoebe

Yeah. That whole multi-part catch-up idea sort of went out the window with the stress of the holidays and all  that came along with them. So, to hell with catching up. You don't really need to know every stupid detail of what I've been up to over the past couple months, right?  (I promise you, it hasn't been thrilling at all.) You know what IS thrilling, though?  At least... as far as I'M concerned?  Tomorrow. Yep.  Tomorrow I go for my next 3-month check-up with my Gynecologic Oncologist, Dr. Kebria.  This will be my 4th 3-month check-up.  You guys are good at math, right?  You know what 4 times 3 months is, right?  Yeah.  That's it.  A YEAR! Since my last post, I hit a lot of my little "anniversaries".  A year since I finished chemo on December 12th.  A year since I finished external radiation on December 14th.  AND, a year since my last brachytherapy (read: last cancer treatment EVER) on January 3...

If the doctor had not told me that I'd be getting hot flashes due to my treatment-imposed menopause status, I swear I'd think I was about to die.  Out of nowhere, I feel like I need to take off all my clothes at least 10 times a day.  This afternoon at work, I could actually feel my KNEES sweating.  Seriously??  When do these hormone pills start to help with this garbage??  Ugh! I managed to make it through 7 hours of work both yesterday and today, though, which I find genuinely impressive.  I feel like overall, I feel better than the doctors and I expected me to.  The fatigue is still there.  Like right now, my brain wants to do a quick little gazelle workout before we go to our friends' house for dinner, but my body says, "Are you friggin' kidding me? How about a nap instead?" And as I've said before, I'm learning to listen to my body... Xxo, Phoebe

Yeah.  I had bloodwork done yesterday morning and a few hours later, Dr. Kebria called to let me know that my ovaries have officially closed up shop.  No more period.  Instead I get to trade that for all the fun of menopause: -Hot flashes? Already happening. -Night sweats?  Check. -Loss of libido?  Not yet - it's been so long with all of the treatments and the weirdness leading up to the diagnosis, I finally have little BUT sex on the brain now that I know I can have it again. -Mood swings / sudden tears?  Uh, I'm  girl.  This is my whole life. -Fatigue?  We're already well acquainted. -Decrease in body hair / increase in facial hair?  Well, some of my body hair got decreased already (thank you radiation).  And I already fought with errant chin hairs before this, so it's hard to say if anything has changed... although it does seem like my leg hair is growing sllllowwww.  So that's a plus. -Sleep disorders?  Already...

Today I had my first (of what will be a lifetime of) follow-up appointments.  It was with Dr. Kebria, my main oncologist.  He did an exam, confirmed that everything up in there is looking as it should, no problems, yadda yadda.  We won't have a "for sure" answer as to whether the cancer is all gone until the first post-treatment PET scan, which is getting scheduled for the beginning of April. While that means 3 months of uncertainty and probably occasional anxiety, it also means that the trip to Italy my mum had planned to take me on is a GO!  I'm a little nervous about what my stamina will be like in just 63 days, but because this idea originated last March (after the first exam that indicated there may be something really wrong...) it's something that is still really important to me.  Seeing Italy with my mother (and MAYBE my sister... HOPEFULLY my sister...) is pretty exciting.  It's been 20 years since I last crossed the ocean.  Vacations just ha...