Positively Phoebe

**This post was transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.** Well, I survived yesterday's goodbye and managed not to cry all over Dr. Kebria like I did on Dr. Avellone...  As Ryan and I were walking down the hall on our way in, I heard my nurse, Alex, say in a sad voice, "Phoeeeebeeee..." to which I yelled back, "Don't even look at me!"  I knew if I saw Alex's sad face, too, I'd cry.  It was a MIRACLE that I held it together when my Nurse Practitioner, Erin, came out to the waiting room to hug me - I am ALWAYS crying to Erin on the phone every time something new is wrong with me.  I love my nurses as much as I love my doctors.  They are incredible ladies. After they got my vitals, we were led to "The Room".  It was serendipitous, somehow.  The first time I ever saw Dr. Kebria was in that room, back in November of 2011.  It's the room where we met, where he did my biopsy, where Dr. Avellone told me Dr. Kebria wa...

**This post was transferred from the now defunct "The Long Ease" blog.** Tomorrow morning, I have my every-four-months Gynecology Oncology follow-up.  It's always a day that brings with it nerves and stress.  (Will everything be ok?  Am I still cancer-free?  Will I remember to ask all of the questions I have this time around?)  But this time, I feel overwhelmed in a different way.  With sadness. It is my Oncologist, Dr. Kebria's, last day at the Cleveland Clinic. I know I'm not the first person in the history of Oncology to have their doctor leave.  But it doesn't matter.  My heart is broken in the same way that a heart breaks when a first love ends. It is so hard to even imagine saying goodbye to this man tomorrow.  He literally... LITERALLY... saved my life.  How do you thank someone for that and just say goodbye, knowing you'll probably never talk to him again? Dr. Kebria was the one who finally confirmed the fears I'd had...