Positively Phoebe

Life has been pretty hectic the past month or so.  At my job where I have struggled for years to get more than 32 legitimate hours a week, I spent the past month easily going over 40 and enjoying my first ever experience with overtime pay.  It was awesome (...until I realized that the last time my paycheck was this size was, you know, every week at my job in Denver 15 years ago.  That part kinda bummed me out.  But whatever. Times are tough and I am grateful to have a job at all - especially one I genuinely enjoy.) Well suddenly, this past Thursday, the craziness at work settled down and I felt like I could breathe again.  I enjoyed some time with Ryan and FINALLY made it over to my beloved Jess's house to see her and her baby girl, Harper, again.  That is probably the last time I will refer to her as "Harper," too, by the way.  To me she will always be "Little Beeps".  Jess and I have called each other "Beeps" or "BeepBeep" for most of our...

Last night I dreamed that my parents were back in Cleveland with me.  Because the cancer had spread to my brain.  We were sitting in a waiting room at the hospital, waiting to be called in for my brain surgery.  But the doctors were all running very late and so I ran home to put on my own bathrobe to be more comfortable, but ended up falling asleep on the couch because they'd given me an Ativan at the hospital.  My parents then showed up at the house to wake me and get me back to the hospital in a hurry because the doctors were ready for me and I hadn't been answering me phone.  We returned to the hospital in a taxi because on the way TO my house, my dad had wrecked my aunt's car. I'm not sure exactly what all that means, but I woke up feeling very anxious.  As I continue to feel better, I realize that there is still a lot of anxiety there.  This morning in the shower, a panic came over me when I realized that I have no doctor's appointments sch...