Positively Phoebe

In more ways than one. I apologize for the serious lack of posts.  It's been ages and so much has happened, I have no idea how I could possibly "catch up".  And I guess it's really not important for me to do that, anyhow.  If I can get myself recommitted to keeping up with this blog, catching up will be a natural part of the game.  And getting recommitted is one of the top priorities right now.  So with that, I have some blathering to do... It's been a while.  You know.  Not just since I posted here, but since my diagnosis.  My treatment.  My treatment ending.  My trip to Italy.  My PET scan that declared me "all clear".  All of it.  It's been a while. When I realized that a year ago this past week was when my mum and I left for Italy... I realized how incredibly far I have come.  How much I've grown.  How much I've changed for the better.  How much healthier and aware and AWAKE I have become.  Ho...

You ever have one of those days where you feel like you just can't win?  I do occasionally, but I swear to god, Ryan has those days, like, daily.  I have never met anyone whose luck seems to be as fucked as his. He's in New York right now on tour... and his wallet was stolen.  Money.  Credit cards. ID. Social Security card (WHY he has this in his wallet, I DO NOT know!).  Our medical card.  Everything. I seriously feel like every time that poor husband of mine starts to feel like things are good something ALWAYS happens to take the wind out of his sails.  Always.  If I am Positively Phoebe, he is Repeatedly Getting Railed Ryan.  Cars.  Jobs.  Bands.  Money.  And now this. And there is nothing I can do to help from here.  I feel sick.  Getting stressed out anymore always makes me nervous (which stresses me out more, and so on and so on...) because I am literally terrified of having negative ANYTHING going on...