Positively Phoebe

So, the past few days have been a whirlwind of emotions (or "chemotions" as Lacey called them), information, struggle and for me - a lot of confusion about where to fit in, how to be the most useful, and what exactly I am feeling in my role as a recent cancer survivor, close friend to Lacey, and huge Spencer fan.  The conversations I've had with some of my own caregiver team (Ryan and my mum) have at least somewhat helped me to sort out what is going on in my own head and heart. Because I spent a lot of time, between getting the news Friday and going to brunch on Sunday, working on Team Spencer designs for the Cafe Press shop I set up to help raise money for Spencer, Ryan was getting sort of concerned that I was obsessing over the designs and making myself more upset.  Through some tears and a lot of thinking and explaining, I managed to not only get him to understand, but also understand myself, what I felt like I was accomplishing with the creation of these designs....

First of all - I forgot to tell you.  I found my original posi+ivi+y bracelet that my friend Kristin sent me.  It was in the laundry that I did this weekend.  YAY!  I am now wearing it again, plus the GR ATTITUDES one the Alexa's Angels ladies sent me, plus the red posi+ivi+y bracelet that I bought for myself when I thought the original one was gone.  A little extra PMA never hurts, right? Secondly, I just have to share that I had a really nice weekend.  I did a bunch of thrifting, which was not only fun but somewhat necessary as I am now swimming in a lot of my clothing.  New (used) duds are a great mood lifter.  And cheap!  I had nice phone chats with both tattoo-dad and mum.  I got to hang out with my bro, Steve Brown and his lovely wife, Jenni, on Sunday.  An amazing pair, these two, and always hilarious.  Laughter really is excellent medicine!  Amid all of that, I also managed to do a bunch of laundry, wo...

I just had to share this here.  My husband's band-mate and an incredibly dear friend, if not straight up BROTHER, to us both - Rocko - just posted on facebook that his online t-shirt shop is donating ALL of their holiday proceeds to my cancer fund.  I can't even believe that.  Well, no.  I CAN.  Because Rocko is the kind of friend that would give you his house if you really needed it. Anyhow, I figured I would share the link to his shop here.  It's pretty funny.  Good stuff.  Rocko rules. Scumbag Cobra Apparel This is my favorite: Love love LOVED, Phoebe

Today my wife will be officially halfway with the external radiation and 2/3 (or 4/5, depending on how they decide) done with the chemo. I am relieved and amazed every day that goes by that she is feeling good and upbeat and ready to go. She has weathered some of the worst of this storm much better than some of us; from the first day I've mostly been so panicked I could barely function. I had to drop several things I was doing and just forget about them. I did not have the capacity for my usual 200-projects-at-a-time. For the most part I didn't know what to do and I wished for the first time in my life that I had a real job. A boring, 9-5, do-it-and-forget-it sort of affair... you know, the kind of thing I hate. I wished someone would just give me a shovel and point at where a ditch needed to be. I tried to complete some projects and mostly failed... anything that required an attention span went right in the shitter. Without her folks here I'm not sure how this wou...

There is no other word for it.  I am completely floored. Yesterday morning, I stumbled upon an article about "Pay a Blogger Day" this coming Tuesday.  The article talked about how, as a modern society, we become addicted to people's blogs and never really think about the fact that their writers are just giving them to us.  For free (mostly).  I myself have a friend whose blog I am ADDICTED to, and earlier this year, she created a shop where you could buy HER things from a cup of coffee, a ball of yarn, a roll of film... all the way up to a month's rent.  I thought it was adorable and immediately   sent her a small amount of money through this shop - no more than I could afford, but just a small thank you for how much her words and pictures contribute to my daily life.  A few days later, I was AMAZED to see that readers were giving her a hard time for doing this - some being downright NASTY about it.  I could not believe it.  This incredibly...