Positively Phoebe

Well here we are.  November 2nd.  One year ago today, right about NOW, actually, Nurse Erin came into my room at Fairview Hospital and told me I had cancer. I cannot believe all that has happened in those 365 days.  How much I have changed.  How much I have grown. I am still furious at the universe for fucking up this weekend of revelry for me and I am seriously struggling to try to remain positive in light of all that is going on.  My emotions have been swinging wildly the past couple days, nevermind the last few HOURS.  I am furious at the power company for choosing streetlights over homes as they work ever so slowly to restore power in our poor city.  And I do mean out POOR city... as it appears that all of the wealthier suburbs were reconnected to the grid first - but the poor little ghetto of Cleveland has been left on the back burner.  Looking at the First Energy website, it appears that they have Cleveland slated to be back on SUNDAY. ...

I had desperately hoped that this anniversary... this CANCERVERSARY... would be an awesome time of gratitude and reflection and celebration. Starting with today, the anniversary of my biopsy, my MRI and CAT Scan and my night at Fairview Hospital with my husband and father. Instead, it has turned into a horrible time of stress and sadness. Of panic and upset and anger. We still have no power. The stupid motherfucking piece of shit generator that Ryan has been miserably fixing, refixing, being kept awake night after night to fix, refix, and pour gas (read: money) into has turned into the worst possible thing that could have happened to us through this storm. It's brought more anger and stress than the comfort it may have otherwise given in the form of heat and unspoiled food. And it's basically because I cannot deal with having to watch Ryan be stressed out. And ever since last Friday, when we had a non-hurricane-related flood which destroyed the majority of Ryan's recordin...