Positively Phoebe

I have a Target addiction.  I am pretty sure this is not an uncommon occurrence these days.  Everything is bright and clean.  They don't play music.  Most of their food is cheaper than anywhere else I shop.  The clearance items on the endcaps are some of the most fabulous deals I have ever found.  Even their clothes are kinda awesome.  They have slushies.  I love the pharmacy.  I love my pharmacist and the girls that work with her.  They understand than sometimes I need hangers, toilet paper, frozen peas and a bra late and are therefore open til 10pm.  One would thing that Target could do no wrong. Until today.  When Target made me cry.  Twice. I've mentioned before that a LOT of my friends have been having babies lately.  I still know more than half a dozen preggo chicas, and several fresh babies as well.  Lots of babies means lots of baby showers and baby birthday parties and baby gifts.  So,...

Oh, well perhaps I should tell you the question first? Although it's the question EVERYONE has been asking ME lately, so maybe you already know it: "Are you feeling better, because you seem like you're feeling better??!" So.  As I said above, the answer is... I feel pretty good.  On the one hand, I honestly feel better/healthier than I have in years.  Eating good food, drinking filtered water and exercising regularly is pretty fantastic medicine. But as "normal" or "good" or whatever as I might appear to everyone, I still am struggling.  It's hard to know how to respond to THE QUESTION, though.  You want to agree with people when they tell you that you seem like you're doing so well.  You want them not to worry.  You want to not worry yourself . But the truth is, I do NOT feel normal.  Yeah, I feel healthier, more fit, more positive, and so on.  But I don't feel like the me I was before all of this.  (I'm pretty sure she...

Yesterday I went for my fourth of six colon hydrotherapy appointments.  Two thirds of the way through these procedures and I still feel like they are SO STRANGE!  But good.  I've felt better this past week, even WITH a nasty cold, than I have in literally years.  Maybe it's that.  Maybe it's the exercise. Yeah.  You heard my chubby ass right.  Exercise.  Me.  No foolin'. This past week, I bought a rebounder.  And now EVERY morning, regardless of how I feel, the first thing I do... well... I pee first, so the SECOND thing I do... is bounce.  Bouncing for ten minutes every morning is a great way to start the day.  It circulates the lymph, which not only boosts the immune system, but it just makes you feel GOOD.  I plan to work my way up to 20 minutes a day over time, but 10-15 is still pretty excellent!  I've also been going back to yoga class with my buddy Ben (taught by my good friend Laura) on Wednesday...

If the doctor had not told me that I'd be getting hot flashes due to my treatment-imposed menopause status, I swear I'd think I was about to die.  Out of nowhere, I feel like I need to take off all my clothes at least 10 times a day.  This afternoon at work, I could actually feel my KNEES sweating.  Seriously??  When do these hormone pills start to help with this garbage??  Ugh! I managed to make it through 7 hours of work both yesterday and today, though, which I find genuinely impressive.  I feel like overall, I feel better than the doctors and I expected me to.  The fatigue is still there.  Like right now, my brain wants to do a quick little gazelle workout before we go to our friends' house for dinner, but my body says, "Are you friggin' kidding me? How about a nap instead?" And as I've said before, I'm learning to listen to my body... Xxo, Phoebe

After several days of my nurse practitioner and pharmacist working together in ways you really wish everyone in the medical field would to help you out, I finally picked up my prescriptions for hormone replacement pills yesterday, and it only cost me eight bucks (rather than seventy to a hundred) for a month's supply.  I am so grateful to the two of them for taking the time to figure out a solution I could afford. So starting today, my morning cocktail consists of 10mg of Zyrtec , 50mg of Zoloft , 2.5mg of Provera , and .5mg of Estradiol .  Delicious.  Not to mention the tablespoon of fish oil , the multivitamin, and the probiotics that I take once I get downstairs for breakfast.  Mmmm. Mmmm. Mmmm.  It's funny to think that prior to last year, I was someone who didn't even like to take an Advil if I had a headache for 3 days.  Ryan doesn't like the idea of me taking hormones, though.  I basically just got a lecture about how it's probably bad. ...

Yeah.  I had bloodwork done yesterday morning and a few hours later, Dr. Kebria called to let me know that my ovaries have officially closed up shop.  No more period.  Instead I get to trade that for all the fun of menopause: -Hot flashes? Already happening. -Night sweats?  Check. -Loss of libido?  Not yet - it's been so long with all of the treatments and the weirdness leading up to the diagnosis, I finally have little BUT sex on the brain now that I know I can have it again. -Mood swings / sudden tears?  Uh, I'm  girl.  This is my whole life. -Fatigue?  We're already well acquainted. -Decrease in body hair / increase in facial hair?  Well, some of my body hair got decreased already (thank you radiation).  And I already fought with errant chin hairs before this, so it's hard to say if anything has changed... although it does seem like my leg hair is growing sllllowwww.  So that's a plus. -Sleep disorders?  Already...