Positively Phoebe

A year ago today, I experienced the single most romantic moment of my entire relationship with Ryan.  I was sitting at Ruby Tuesday’s with my mum and her sister and brother waiting for him to arrive.  He walked in a few moments after I had settled in, went straight past the empty seat, and literally picked me up out of my chair with the most incredible hug ever.  Ryan’s not the most outwardly affectionate person who ever lived and he’s definitely not PUBLICLY affectionate, like, ever.  The reason for this display of affection was the results we got, a year ago today, of what I hope is my LAST ever PET scan.  The “no more cancer” results.  Weird to think it’s now OFFICIALL been a year since we officially got the official news.  The reason Ryan was so overwhelmed with happiness that he was so uncharacteristically openly affectionate is that on that day, it was “over”.  I was cured.  It was like getting the go ahead to return to and procee...

Yeah. That whole multi-part catch-up idea sort of went out the window with the stress of the holidays and all  that came along with them. So, to hell with catching up. You don't really need to know every stupid detail of what I've been up to over the past couple months, right?  (I promise you, it hasn't been thrilling at all.) You know what IS thrilling, though?  At least... as far as I'M concerned?  Tomorrow. Yep.  Tomorrow I go for my next 3-month check-up with my Gynecologic Oncologist, Dr. Kebria.  This will be my 4th 3-month check-up.  You guys are good at math, right?  You know what 4 times 3 months is, right?  Yeah.  That's it.  A YEAR! Since my last post, I hit a lot of my little "anniversaries".  A year since I finished chemo on December 12th.  A year since I finished external radiation on December 14th.  AND, a year since my last brachytherapy (read: last cancer treatment EVER) on January 3...

We spread the message literally from Ohio to Japan and back.  The requests for prayers, positive thoughts, PMA, healing vibes, good juju... all of it.  All for little Spencer. And today, as I stood in Target and heard Lacey's text noise... my heart was in my friggin throat as I pulled my phone out of my pocket and looked to see the words: "NO LEUKEMIA!!!" And then I bawled.  And then I called my mum and told her.  And then I sat in traffic for an hour trying to get to Spencer's baby brother, Sullivan's, baptism.  I have never been so happy to hug my "wife" Lacey or her hubby, Todd. It was a wonderful day and I have no doubt in my mind that everyone's positive thoughts and prayers helped. Thank you.  Thank you all.  And if you want to follow Lacey, Spencer, Sullivan and Todd's adventures, too, you can find them here: http://frombettietobetty.blogspot.com/ I am so happy.  I spent a good 10 minutes snuggling with my dude, Spencer, b...

As I type this, I am 10 hits away from my goal of getting 30,000 hits in this one year.  Small potatoes to the average "famous" blogger, but for me - it's awesome.  And it will CLEARLY happen today - a few days short of the goal date. And you know what else happened today?  My wonderful Oncology Nurse called me to let me know that my biopsy was benign and my PAP smear was negative for cancer once again! STILL CANCER FREE!!! This will make Friday's celebration even more wonderful.  I am so happy.  So relieved.  So LUCKY! Now I can get back to worrying about all of my friends who have been impacted by this storm!  (We lost power, but Ryan had the generator up and running our whole house and the neighbor's fridge within a few hours.  No flooding for us - but I know many people who were affected by this.) Thank you all for sticking with me.  Best news ever today!!!!! Love love love, Phoebe

So, as I alluded to in last night's post - it's been six months since my diagnosis. THAT'S ALL!  JUST SIX LITTLE MONTHS!!! ...and they were the longest fucking months of my entire life, without a doubt.  It feels like that day in November was 6 YEARS ago.  That day.  That unholy long day of WAITING after the semi-sleepless night in Fairview Hospital WAITING.  My memory is not what it used to be, but I remember so much of it so clearly.  And you know what?  I'm not going to replay it!  Because we all know what happened and how it all ended up - better than one would have ever imagined!  So no rehashing.  Just a happy little cancer-half-versary.  If I could make a cake with a middle finger on it and eat the whole thing today, I would.  But that will not do my new healthy lifestyle any favors, so I'll just move on. And here's an even better pseudo-anniversary: 4 weeks ago today, I got the unexpected (early) calls from both m...

My mum finally got to go back home this morning.  After 10 weeks in Cleveland caring for me, 6 weeks to prepare for Italy, 2 weeks IN Italy, 2 DAYS back home in Boulder, and then back to Cleveland for another week for test results... she is in the air, on her way back to a normal life where she and knitting dad can make plans of their own!  I could not be happier for them!! Yesterday, we spent our last day together.  Brunch at the Original Pancake House was like metaphorical "end parenthesis" on the cancer experience.  It felt great.  Then I took her down to visit my good friend, Lacey and to meet Lacey's ADORABLE son, Spencer (whom I have been madly in love with since day one).  My mum has been an avid follower of Lacey's blog , and has given her a lot of love and supporting words through all of her struggles, so it was only appropriate to do a visit while she was here and I was no longer sick!!! After an excellent afternoon of girl talk and baby s...

Today was the day we all EXPECTED to get the PET scan results - at my appointment with Dr. Kebria this afternoon.  And even though getting the news surprisingly and excitingly early yesterday was awesome, today's visit was even MORE awesome than we expected. Sitting in the exam room with Dr. Kebria and Erin, I was just beaming.  I had no idea it could get even BETTER - but it seems like that was all that happened.  It just kept getting better and better and better!!! First, Dr. K actually said the words "The cancer is gone."  It was the greatest thing my ears have ever heard.  Until he said, shortly thereafter , "She is more than likely cured."  WHAT?!  Somehow that sentence really drove it home!!!  I was just floored. But that's not all the good news!  (Can you believe it just keeps getting better?)  Those (EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE) PET scans... the ones I thought I'd have to be getting every three, then six, then twelve months? Yeah, ...

When my looked down at my ringing phone this afternoon and saw "Moll Pavillion / Fairview Hospital" on the called ID, I just assumed it was one of those recorded messages reminding me about my appointment tomorrow.  (Never mind that I got that message yesterday.  I was buys and not thinking about that stuff...)  So when the voice on the other end was the Nurse Practitioner who was with me from day one of this ordeal, my heart immediately leaped into my throat.  She was the one who told me that the results of my biopsy were that I had cancer.  So it was only appropriate that she was the one to call me first today... She said that when she saw my results from yesterday's can pop up on her system, she could not wait until tomorrow to call and tell me the good news.  What they saw was exactly what they wanted to see:  no progression of disease, and no residual evidence of the tumor.  I was so in shock.  So stunned.  I s...